Russell Brand shock: he’s not the nation’s moral leader after all

26th Annual ARIA Awards 2012 - Award Winner Portraits

Peter Pan complex: is Brand the sixth form debater who never grew up?

There was shock for Russell Brand’s acolytes yesterday when it turned out that he is not the nation’s moral leader and holds no official position in either government or the church.

“I thought he was like boss of everything,” said Harold resident and long-term Brand follower Sean Pavey. “Because he gets blanket press coverage and goes on Newsnight giving it the big I am, I assumed he was important.”

“I’m really surprised,” said aspiring WAG Melanie Delaney. “It’s weird to think that he’s just spouting guff about voting and revolution without doing any research or having any first-hand knowledge of politics. Plus when I met him he said something about my ‘Bristols’ and his ‘dinkle’ which didn’t sound like equality at all.”

“It is a shock,” avid Brand fan Jane Hough told us. “Once Russell started going on about politics and writing open letters in the press I was thinking maybe he’d become an MP or studied at a high academic level but he’s still just the bloke who thought it would be a good idea to remake Arthur. And it so wasn’t.”

As his acolytes come to realise that Brand is just a stand-up comedian and not the nation’s moral leader nor the answer to any of its problems, Brand himself is continuing his media onslaught claiming he wants to see a whole new society based on redistribution of wealth although he is remaining tight-lipped on how much of his estimated £10 million fortune has found its way to worthy causes.

“I just hope we’re not in for a spate of famous Russell’s sounding off on things they don’t understand,” said concerned villager, Edward ‘Teddy’ Taylor. “I don’t want to hear what this one thinks about voting and I don’t give a rat’s arse about what Russell Grant’s opinion on climate change is or Russell Howard’s on Trident.”

“The only famous Russell needed in politics is Russell Crowe,” Taylor stated confidently. “As long as he’s channelling Maximus from Gladiator when he meets Iain Duncan Smith.”



Filed under News, Politics, Showbusiness

2 Responses to Russell Brand shock: he’s not the nation’s moral leader after all

  1. Aha! Britain fervently requires revolution just like in Iran or Egypt!Henceforth people will treat me with deference and verily refrain from calling me toss pot stupid hair, at which juncture I will prodigally return from America to resume jokes about my nutsack. Aha!

  2. THIS IS STUPID. He is not claiming to be any body but himself. He is a person like you or me talking about these issues openly and publicly! Of course someone would write this article with such semantics.

    He is not a leader or a “prophet” any more than myself. He is using his fame to share this message that EVERYONE IS OBVIOUSLY DOWN WITH (except the 1%.)

    And there is nothing to understand about “politics” because it’s OBVIOUSLY all bullshit. THIS IS BULLSHIT. And he is one of the only public figures being so straight up and open.

    You can’t keep the people asleep for much longer. This is happening whether you like it or not and Russell Brand is acting as the spark to this massive spiritual awakening. There will be change with or without Russell Brand’s publicity. Everyone’s already thinking it and he’s the one saying it.

    I hope you can find acceptance and love in your heart. Your agenda in your article is very clear—make Mr. Brand look like an ignorant fool. When, in reality, he made those yuppies on Morning Joe look like complete morons without being condescending or rude, unlike them. Take your negative vibes somewhere else bro and get real.