Earth stops mid-orbit as Facebook suffers outage


Nasa scientists today confirmed that the Earth stopped turning and orbiting the sun, and life in certain places ceased for a short while. The cause of the event, which goes against many laws of physics, is believe to be a global Facebook issues that saw people unable to update their status.

“We believe this is the first time the earth has completely stopped mid-orbit” Professor Brian Cox said.

“It seems that the inability of humans to share the most mundane of details about their lives and food also has a direct impact on the whether life on earth can function properly.”

However being the intelligent animal humans are, many were about to go through an evolution more important than the one that saw us walk on two legs; they joined twitter.

Luckily this piece of foresight let people continue to share their thoughts with the world, but not everyone was able to cope with this transition.

“I managed to send a message to the world to let them know I hadn’t died in the last 12.5 minutes since my last update, but couldn’t find the like button on other people’s posts” one office worker told us as he describes his experience of the modern day ‘survival of the fittest’.

“I spent the rest of the outage locked in the toilets with a packet of crisps and a kitten to laugh at. I imagine it was like being in the blitz.”

The social network site is now back up and running properly, and the earth has returned orbiting around the sun.

A spokesman for the company said; “We apologise to all our users for any distress caused. And although people could not update their status, they were still able to tend to their farms, crush candy and poke each other.

“We understand the outage may have caused some users to display signs of unusual behaviour but can confirm we have had no reports of anyone having to actually engage in face-to-face conversation.”

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