Teenage Temptress to Teach Dogs Yoga

Upward-Facing Dog

Some have called the idea ‘barking mad’, others think she’s bitten off more than she can chew, but local teen Melanie Delaney hopes that her latest business idea won’t be dogged with problems.

Harold resident Melanie (19) who was once almost mistaken for Paris Hilton is a self-taught yoga instructor with high hopes of success.  After watching her pet Chihuahua, Mr Pips, contort himself into a series of amazing postures while attempting to lick his own bottom, Melanie was inspired to create yoga classes just for man (and woman’s) best friends.

Speaking exclusively to The Evening Harold, Melanie told us, “I watched Mr Pips one morning, as I was awaiting a call-back for a personal appearance as Paris Hilton-alike, when I realised that what he was doing was almost yoga like in its nature. When he managed to bend so far around that he could lick his own stinky-bum-bum, I realised that I could devise some wonderful postures to maintain doggy suppleness and well being.”

The attractive and lithe blonde continued, “After that, I began to watch my little darling more closely and noticed that when he stretched after a little nap, it was exactly like he was going into the ‘Downward Dog’ posture, and when he cocks his little leg for a pee, it’s almost as though he’s attempting one of the more complicated positions.  No wonder he’s such a little angel, he’s achieved inner serenity.  I thought of all the horrible, nasty, snarly, bigger dogs in the village who often try to snap and bite at my little precious and it was like a ‘Eureka’ moment as it dawned on me that they needed to have their Chakras rebalanced, and what better way to achieve that peaceful state than through specially designed yoga classes for dogs?”

Realigning his Chakras

Melanie will be taking block bookings for classes from dog owners in Harold over the next few weeks, and hopes to have her classes up and running by the end of this month, just as soon as she’s worked out when best to avoid a clash with the Cat Zumba classes.

Any interested parties should contact Melanie directly via the number available in the village’s newly reopened phone box or pic up a leaflet and application form from Melanie’s parents café, Veggie! Veggie! Veggie!

Melanie has, however, asked us to point out that only pedigree dogs will be accepted to the classes, and a valid Kennel Club six-generation pedigree certificate must be submitted with the application.