The village of Harold has seen a large rise in the amount of interest from first time buyers as a result of the latest financial ticking time bomb. The village has more interest only mortgages than anywhere else in the UK. The concern is that people will have not saved enough money to pay the final lump sum, leading to repossessions and cheap properties going to auction.
One hopeful home-owner explained “from what I have heard the whole village will be up for sale at this rate. I’ve got my eye on a nice three bedroom property at the moment, but I’ve heard rumours even the church could be up for grabs.”
Most first time buyers now struggle to find a sizeable deposit and building up a credit rating better than most of the world’s largest economies. With repossessed houses going to auction usually selling for less than the market value, this is the perfect opportunity for first time buyers to take on unsubstainable debt.
The majority of the interest only mortgages were sold at the height of the housing bubble, when all you needed to stump up was a signature to get whatever financial products you wanted, to the value of your choice. Payment insurance, credit checks and the ability to pay the money back were all optional.
Reverend Tansy Forster has confirmed the church is one of the affected properties, but denies that it’s her fault or the fault of the Church of England. “I knew when we re-mortgaged the church to pay for new fête tables and a gazebo that we’d have to pay it back.”
“I had faith that God would help us out, so much faith that I put him down as a guarantor which Northern Rock accepted. Now we are in need hopefully he will answer their prayers, because he certainly isn’t returning my calls.”
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