Football club to hold minute’s silence in memory of the Ironing Lady

silenceIt has been confirmed that a minutes silence will be observed before Harold Thursday’s game on Saturday as a mark of respect following the passing of Teresa Macster, the first female Mayor of Harold, known locally as the Ironing Lady on account of the fact that she ran a laundry business in the village.

‘Mrs Macster never really understood sport,’ said club chairman Billy McKean, ‘but this club owes her a great debt as she chose to sell off the cricket ground, rather than the football field, which guaranteed our pathetic survival to this day.’

The club’s decision has not been received universal approval. Whilst the players and the club’s only season ticket holder are grudgingly expected to observe the silence as a mark of respect, trappist monks from nearby Harold Abbey have threatened to stage a noisy protest during the silence.

The Abbot, Father Patrick O’Gaud, was unavailable for comment, but the monks’ grievance with the Ironing Lady is understood to relate to the time when their ceremonial white robes were inadvertently laundered with the football club’s red strip. Ever since the monks have been known locally as the Pinko Brothers, something they have had to suffer in silent resentment.

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