Committee ‘delighted’ as Piers Morgan turns down invitation to open village fete

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Faced with the perennial problem of finding a candidate to open Harold’s village summer fete, organisers decided to aim high this year and their ambitions have paid off with the refusal of none other than TV personality Piers Morgan to attend festivities.

‘This is fantastic news,’ committee chairman, Nick Stalling, told the Evening Harold at a celebration meal at the 38th Parallel, Harold’s North Korean restaurant. ‘We contacted him using that Twitter thing that you have and he replied almost immediately with the simple but thoughtfully chosen words “@EveningHarold No thanks.”

‘Harold has been honoured that such a noteworthy person as Piers Morgan has taken the time to turn down our invitation, continued Mr Stalling, adding, ‘and it makes one feel very humble.’

Although the fete now looks likely to be opened as usual by the Mayor, it hasn’t stopped celebration souvenirs going into full production. Tea towels and Piers Morgan mugs are already planned, which will sell alongside T- Shirts emblazoned with the legend “Piers Morgan? – No Thanks!”.

All proceeds will go towards the usual good causes (village hall funds).

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