The city of Stoke-on-Trent has finally been released from its shackles, following the granting of the Freedom of Robbie Williams.
Stoke-on-Trent, which is technically a group of six manufactured boy towns, has suffered from Robbie Williams for two decades.
‘This is a blessed relief’ announced the smallest town with a grating voice, Tunstall. ‘That tattooed entertainer has been difficult to live down to. We might be a bit scruffy, short on talent and prone to nicking other people’s songs. But at least now, we don’t have to pretend to be interested in tone-deaf, middle-aged divorcees.’