“So I lost the codes. It’s no big deal.”
The White House was in meltdown today following President Trump’s tweet “OMG I lost the codes!” only hours before he was due to declare all-out nuclear war on N Korea.
“These things happen,” he tweeted.
Working on the theory the codes may have been stolen by a pickpocket working for the enemy, all of Trump’s fingers were pointing at a single suspect. Continue reading
Kim Jong-Un being primed
North Korea’s claim to have successfully tested a hydrogen bomb is in tatters after the discovery that the resulting 5.1 earthquake is exactly what would be expected from Kim Jong-Un jumping up and down a few times.
Initially it was thought the rogue state detonated a miniature nuclear device infused with hydrogen as calculations showed an explosive force equivalent to the Hiroshima bomb. But then scientists worked out that cheese fan Kim Jong-Un could generate an equivalent force by jumping two feet in the air a couple of times.