“And then, after the penalties, I usually slump my shoulders like this”
At a press briefing at Luton Airport on Sunday, Roy Hodgson confirmed younger England players are being taken to the World Cup primarily to get used to losing.
”Some have lost with their clubs at home and at European level: now they must do so on the World stage if they want to earn a long-term England place.”
Sadly, others are still hungry for success “You can see it in their eyes: they positively radiate passion, belief and hope. And it’s my job, together with Stevie [team captain, Gerrard], to snuff that out.” Continue reading
Queen ‘may form one’s own band’ to record new anthem
Buckingham Palace confirmed today that the Queen has commissioned a new National Anthem following Mo Farah’s medal ceremony in Moscow. “Enough is enough!” she stormed as the tune’s last notes faded away in Moscow, throwing her hat across the room at the TV but hitting a sleeping Corgi instead.
“Do you know how often one’s heard that dirge?” the rant continued “At least 78,532 bloody times! Ronnie Biggs only got 30 years and then got out early, the crafty sod. But it’s over 60 years with no musical parole in sight for ER2. Doesn’t this breach one’s human-rights? We objected to the yanks playing the same thing over & over to their Guantanamo guests didn’t we? Mind you, that was Metallica.”
“One will tell you what though. If Brian May gets himself up on the Palace roof again and even thinks about playing it, Philip will definitely give him both barrels. It was all one could do to stop him last time.”