Not to mention the pot holes…
While scientists are over the moon with their discovery of a water lake on Mars, residents of North West England have expressed disappointment that their hosepipe ban will not be cancelled.
“Water on Mars isn’t really going to help with the regional water shortage,” said a spokesman for United Utilities.
“Our job is to manage the water here in Lancashire and we’re not very good at that, so you can’t honestly think, as some have suggested, that we may as well try to run a pipeline from Mars. Not without a feasibility study anyway.”
O’Bradbury’s: open 24.39/7
Having entirely conquered the globe serving-up Guinness from Brazzaville to Beijing the phenomenon of the Irish pub has gone intergalactic with the first one opening on Mars.
“It’s not too soon,” said manager Cat Magill. “It’s never too soon for a wee place with black-and-white pictures on the wall of people looking really miserable toiling in some fields or slightly miserable watching camogie which idiots think it’s more ‘authentic’ than other pubs.” Continue reading