“Trust me. I’m the Home Secretary, I know what I’m doing.”
Deaths from mood-altering-yet-legal substances remain stubbornly stuck down in double figures, according to a new Home Office report.
Home Secretary Theresa May wrote the foreword but denies some of its apparent support for decriminalising drugs, or indeed having read her own department’s report.
“It was a Home Office report on drugs,” carped Mrs May “why would I bother to read it? Continue reading
In a bid to cut down on the recent trend of public misery, a group of 20 festivals have banned the use of ‘legal depressants’ such as Coldplay and Radiohead.
“Although not widely used in public some festival goers have been known to sit in their tents getting low using headphones to inject legal lows such as ‘Yellow’ or ‘Creep’ directly into their ears,” one organiser told us.