G4S Managers meeting
Another steaming tidal-wave of shit seems to have emerged from the Goverment’s favourite contractors, the hapless G4S.
With child victims of their custody staff assaults still sporting bruises, fresh allegations are that G4S police control room staff made loads of 999 calls at quiet times, to boost their performance figures.
Jon Pastry, managing director for G4S public services outlined the background to this latest calamity “We became aware that a shady firm of repeat offenders had made a 999 call to boost their performance figures.” Continue reading
Grayling only lies when his fingers are crossed
G4S, ‘the serial offenders co’, has offered to repay the Ministry of Justice £24.1m, after admitting the way it charged for tagging offenders was ‘not appropriate’.
Fortunately for G4S, its internal review found this wasn’t the result of dishonesty. Rather, it had wrongly thought it could claim for tagging people who were dead or in prison. Or both.
“We had a result over Olympic staffing with only 3% of the contract performance related” said a corporate oaf. “Ripping off government is a victimless crime, it’s not like dead prisoners are moaning.”
One piece of jewellery Savile never owned
Two security firms accused of charging tax-payers to tag people who have gone abroad, are in prison or who have died, have hit back saying that they were just keeping an eye on the most dangerous in society.
A spokesman for G4S, one of the companies involved, said “we have actually done a lot of research into the type of person we should be tagging and far from conning the government, we have actually been doing them a favour. For example, did you know that in prison, 100% of the inmates have a criminal record?
Filed under News, Politics
The brochure describes the prison pool as one of the finest in the UK
With the education system bringing a larger gap in quality between private and state schools, the privatisation of prisons has seen a record numbers of criminal families going to increasing lengths to get their kin into Dunstable’s private prison operated by G4S, as opposed to other local state alternatives.
“We have found people using false addresses, lying about siblings who are already in the prison and even impersonating family members in an attempt to secure places” the Governor of the prison has said.