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UK men in Syria drone death ‘were actually on EasyJet trip to Prague’


A coach transfer to your hotel may be necessary

EasyJet has apologised after it emerged that the supposed UK militants killed by a drone attack  in Syria this week were merely on a stag do in the Czech Republic, and had just landed at the airline’s ‘South Prague’ airport, which happens to be near the Syrian/Lebanese border.

The rolling, once-fertile Hawran Plateau south of Damascus might seem a strange choice for those heading to Eastern Europe, but the airline was adamant that customers are well aware that some of the airports on its routes involve a coach transfer to their final destination.

“In this case, to reach downtown Prague from our airport of choice would involve a simple taxi or coach trip, followed by an arduous journey being smuggled into Europe by ruthless people smugglers,” explained an EasyJet spokesperson this morning. Continue reading

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Drone pilot wins Victoria Cross

for valour

Although untraumatised, pilot will need years of occupational therapy.

A drone pilot, battling away in a reasonably comfortable lounge, has become the first remote combatant to achieve the Victoria Cross.

Despite a searing repetitive strain injury and being down to his last 2 bags of pretzels, John Stilgo continued to pour missiles into a deadly Afghanistan orphanage.

“I wasn’t concerned at all for my own safety”, revealed Stilgo. “Instinct took over. I just knew I had to push through if I wanted to beat the squadron’s highest score.”
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