A prominent politician has left a woman that serves gruel at her wit’s end, after repeatedly ordering the special and then insisting on steak.
‘Goodbye Gruel World’, a thin porridge emporium in Shoreditch, has been trying to turn Osborne’s table since Tuesday.
“When Mr Osborne came in, he was wearing an ashen sack, and asked if we could water our gruel down”, said Sandy Hampstead.
“But when I tried to serve it to him, he enquired as to ‘what the eff it was’, and pretended he’d ordered chateau briand.”
That. Whatever it is that he’s carrying. No, I don’t know what it is but I want it.
A recent survey has found that Britain’s favourite meal is whatever somebody else is eating. The aroma of somebody else’s food, that you can’t quite place but smells great, beat traditional favourites such as fish and chips, curry, and unspecified meat kebab to the number one spot.
“Can you smell that coming from next door? I can’t tell what it is; it could be oven chips and a pasty from Iceland with precisely zero nutritional value for all I know, but I’m not cooking it and it smells nice. I want it.” said Ian Jenkins, one of the people surveyed.
Filed under Lifestyle, News