Already contains plenty of white
Shortly after announcing record profits Apple CEO, Tim Cook, has revealed that the US technology giant is set to buy Greece and use the debt-ridden European country as a holiday home.
The $18bn profit for three months ending December 2014 is the biggest quarterly profit ever made by a public company, and Cook has decided to spend it on ‘something nice’ for Apple’s staff to use. Continue reading
No-stralia: the undiscovered country.
The England Cricket Board has funded a major sea voyage, with the hope that Captain Cook can ‘undiscover Australia’.
Whittled from ash and unusually rudderless, it’s hoped the vessel can complete its voyage before sinking without trace.
Speaking from the poop deck, the dashing figure of Alistair Cook pledged that he ‘would not return until the seas below Indonesia were proved to be completely devoid of any troubling land masses’.