Tag Archives: cleaner

Donald Trump sacks himself


With no-one else left in the White House, former President Trump sacked himself this afternoon, he confirmed in a tweet.

“I just wasn’t feeling the chemistry anymore,” he said, after catching sight of himself in a mirror.

Cleaner Jose Mortimer has temporarily taken the reins.

“There’s no-one here at the moment,” he told Boris Johnson, “but if you’d like to leave a message, please do so after the beep. Beep.”

Political commentators worrying about a US power vacuum were immediately reassured by Mortimer.

“No problem,” he said, “I use a Riccar Premium Radiance.”

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Foreign-born cleaner resigns after discovering employer is a Tory


In hindsight, the daily cleaning of graffiti on the house should have been a clue

In the light of immigration minister Mark Harper resigning his position after it emerged he employed a cleaner who did not have permission to work in the UK, a separate incident has seen a foreign-born cleaner leaving their post after it emerged their employer was a Tory.

The cleaner has apologised for not carrying out reasonable checks on the person whose house they clean and said that although they had been a British citizen for the last 13 years, being from another country means they should have checked their employer was not, in fact, a Tory.

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