Drivers of diesel cars are to face an extra charge of up to £10 on top of the congestion charge in London to help compensate for the amount of smug they give off.
Environmental groups have welcome the plans saying the amount of smug given of by diesel car drivers when talking about their fuel efficiency is becoming a serious health risk to everyone.
A spokesperson for the Green Party said: “Smug levels in the South East and especially London have always been high, with ‘banker bonus season’ creating a smug cloud so bad it is hard to see the top of Canary Wharf.
A record number of iPhones have been seized and destroyed at airport security since passengers have been asked to prove the batteries work.
“We are finding a lot of them aren’t able to turn on. The users trying to board with the device are making up a number of excuses,” a security guard at Luton Airport told us.
“We have had some claiming they drained the batteries checking Facebook twice, and others saying the batteries died as they kept checking the time to see how far into the six-hour delay they were.”