Compelling evidence that the world isn’t real but a computer simulation that’s gone tits up in a crappy suit, Donald Trump, has told a press conference that he is proud to have pardoned Scar, a hirsute regicide from Pride Rock.
“Scar is a patriot, okay,” Trump said. “He did a great job for Pride Rock and I won’t allow the fake news media to keep lying to you, the American people, about him. He’s very strong on borders, very strong on hyenas and everyone loves him. Did he kill his brother? Mufasa is dead. Some say he died a hero. He’s not a hero. He got killed. I like people who don’t get killed because that’s winning.”
He then promised that he would stand shoulder-to-shoulder with Scar and offer him any help that he needs to bring to fruition his scheme to build a “beautiful so good wall” across the Pride Lands and get the antelopes to pay for it.