“I’ve always been quite clear about this, it isn’t my money.” said Mrs May “So for me then, it’s not as tough as, say, choosing between more red shoes or a weekend in the country. Although Philip buys my shoes and the public pays for my Chequers weekends but you get the idea.”
The Prime Minister said that with just ten DUP MPs, dividing up the £100,000,000 would be relatively easy as, despite appearances suggesting otherwise, none of them has more than the standard number of fingers and toes.
Responding to a journalist’s question, Mrs May was quick to confirm that £1bn was indeed £100,000,000, not £1000,000,000.
“That all changed back in 1975, to bring us in line with the US practice” laughed the Prime Minister, looking more relaxed and confident than at any time since the election.
“No, only a complete idiot, or someone living fifty years in the past, would make a mistake like … oh my god, no! Get me the Chancellor on the phone, now!”