Brexit awesome! May strong and stable! Mysterious men in black everywhere

You want to be the meat in that sandwich, you know you do

Everyone in the UK has woken up happier than an MP contemplating their expense claims. The sun is shining, Brexit is a fantastic idea being superbly negotiated by the nation’s finest minds whose plan for it is detailed and brilliant and the government, led by the admirable Theresa May, is as strong and stable as a table made from granite and Gwyneth Paltrow’s belief that she’s not talking nonsense.

In other news, reports are flooding in from all over the country that men in black have been seen addressing everyone from huge crowds to individuals with these encounters always ending in a bright flash of light and then the overwhelming conviction that everything is wonderful. No one is sure what this means yet but the consensus is that it beats reality.