At 12:30 this afternoon Theresa May will stand in the House of Commons and read a statement formally beginning the start of Brexit and her tireless work on behalf of rich and elderly Conservative voters.
“When I sit around the negotiating table in the months ahead, I will represent every person in the whole United Kingdom – old and rich, Daily Mail and Daily Telegraph, the South East and land owners across the country,” she will say. “I promise you this, I am not going to be working solely for the benefit of those who vote Conservative but also for those who are members of the Conservative party.”
“I will not rest until the UK has become an independent nation, a strong nation, a largest and most unregulated tax haven on earth nation. And if that means throwing the poor and the dim under a bus then so be it. They love buses, that sort. If they hadn’t got hypnotised by one with lies written on it that time we wouldn’t be here today.”