Frothing Westminster brexiteers have called for the monarch to take decisive action, after the Lords exercised their parliamentary rights and voted for EU nationals to stay in the UK post-Brexit.
Rising onto his elbows from his sick-bed, against medical advice, swivel-eyed MP John Redwood spluttered “will of the people … clear mandate … take back control … must get the Queen to overturn this undemocratic unelected chamber …” before falling back exhausted onto the sheets.
During the debate, Lord Tebbitt insisted peers should put the interests of Britons above those of foreigners, or ‘wogs’ as they will shortly be known again. “Anyway, what cricket team do they support?” he challenged, to which Lord Bragg replied “They’re Europeans, you daft prick. They don’t play cricket.”
Meanwhile, over at the Daily Mail, all the journalists and Sarah Vine were given oxygen and advised to lie in a darkened room for an hour. “Just wait until the hereditary peer Lord Rothermere hears about this.” muttered Paul Dacre “Or was he speaking in the debate?”