NHS team up with Disney World for tips on queue management

NHS trusts in the UK have teamed up with U.S. based Disneyworld consultants to help manage increasing pressures on hospital queue targets.
Heading up the Disney team is Roy Peterson Jr, whose overarching strategy is clear: ”Who on earth would want to reduce queues? That’s where your quaint little doctors and nurses game has gone wrong – it’s all about optimising the size of the queue and then keeping people distracted whilst they are waiting – easy”. He went on “And FREE at the point of service? that stinks, we’ll be introducing a new smart wristband in the Autumn, one easy fee for up to 3 extra treatments per month”.
However, NHS ‘customers’ have not taken too well to the new system. ‘I’d been queuing for 45 weeks and my appointment was just around the corner” said 85 year old Mrs Edith Jones from Dagenham “but when the day came it turned out that there were another 10,000 people cleverly hidden in front of me…”
DisneyNHS © say that queue times can be reduced with the use of a new Fastpass system, however this has not helped Mrs Jones – “I need a new hip but all I could get a fastpass for was a bunion removal or invasive prostate gland check, I went for the prostate check anyway but afterwards they charged me £15 for a photo of my face looking shocked when the …ahem, you know.. bit happened”.
Jeremy Hunt has been quick to defend the new initiative, “We did have a meeting with Alton Towers Smiler ride representatives last year, but their system literally would cost you an arm and a leg.”

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