MND sufferer’s distress as he finds new Yorkshire accent is Geoffrey Boycott’s

“That’s brilliant is that.” Boycott listens to one of his own jokes

A man otherwise coping stoically with motor neurone disease has been plunged into despair, and finally driven to ask “Why me?” by the news he’ll be voiced by the legendary ar*ehole and cricket bore, Geoffrey Boycott.

Graham Cross from Yorkshire thought he’d get a nice synthesised Yorkshire voice, when the effects of MND rob him of the power of speech, but says he may now rely on a slate and chalk instead.

I’d hoped for Alan Bennett’s gentle, melodic burble. But it seems the NHS want me to have the grating tones of an arrogant, whining twat. What have I ever done to upset them?”

MND is a progressive neurodegenerative disease that causes muscle weakness, paralysis, and ultimately, respiratory failure. In short, a right bastard. “That’s as may be.” says Cross “But Boycott can destroy your very soul, even if you’re only watching him on the TV. The thing is, would life be worth living, knowing every word you spoke would be agony for those closest to you?”

“On the upside though, I’ll never be wrong about anything again.”

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