The future of the £18bn Hinkley Point C nuclear power station is uncertain following the revelation that Godzilla is “not really feeling it” about moving to the West Country.
The massive sea monster who was awakened from prehistoric slumber and given destructive power by nuclear radiation has a track record of being first on the scene whenever mankind’s love affair with the atom goes tits up.
“This is a French company backed by the Chinese building a huge power station in Brexit Britain,” said Godzilla. “Obviously I’ve got to be there from the off. The only way this could be more demented is if the real cost was likely to be nearer £30bn and no one had figured out a way to deal safely with spent nuclear fuel on site. What? Oh.”
“I’m just not sure I want to move to Somerset at this stage in my career,” said the big green metaphor for the dangers of making things go boom in a mushroom cloudy way. “Sure the cider and cricket’s good but I don’t know if I can be that near to all those New Age arseholes in Glastonbury and not use my atomic breath.”