Furious Blairite Labour MPs have made their most damaging allegation yet against nice-cup-of-tea-and-a-sit-down in human form Jeremy Corbyn by accusing him of shooting Bambi’s mother.
“Of course he did!” thundered Owen Smith. “This heinous act is entirely in keeping with a man who is utterly lacking in morality. Equality, social mobility, peace, redistribution of wealth, making deers orphans: these are his core values and not one of them has a place in the modern Labour party.”
“The vast majority of the parliamentary Labour party stand with me on this issue. We are in total opposition to Corbyn’s vile deer murdering antics,” he said. “I suppose technically we should be concentrating on opposing the government but, honestly, where’s the fun in that?”