Comforting mole-person in khaki slacks, Jeremy Corbyn, has spoken of his utter shock on learning that the UK is in the grip of a referendum debate.
“I was aware that people are talking about something a lot,” he said. “I thought that maybe Bake Off was back on or something.”
“I should probably do something about this. It seems like the most important issue in a generation has come down to which ex-Eton Bullingdon bully can shout the loudest and that a referendum on Europe has been hijacked and become a vote on who will be the leader of the Conservatives. It’s time a strong and effective opposition stood up and got their message across.”
Corbyn then yawned and put his head back inside his shell vowing that Labour would certainly make an effort to engage with voters and hammer home the argument for Remain just as soon as he’d had a nice quiet sit down and a bit of think about it all.