Yawning void in shoes a drag queen wouldn’t touch, Theresa May, has criticised the Fire Service for appearing to have exactly the same working culture as her own organisation. In a baffling speech she lambasted the Fire Service for being toxic and corrosive and coupling it with a lack of transparency and independent scrutiny. She then returned to Number 10 and her Bullingdon Club, Panama tax haven using, “Calm down, dear” boss and his secretive, white, privately educated, millionaire, manly chums.
“My speech was about the Fire Service, not the Conservative Party,” May later clarified. “We can behave as we like and do not require urgent reform. The Fire Service absolutely does. Why? Because we’ll make heaps of coin out of it. Reforms means cuts and then when they’re on their knees we can invite our investor friends to swoop in and make out like bandits. I like to call this the Serco manoeuvre.”
Meanwhile one hundred per cent of people whose home is currently on fire said they didn’t give a rat’s arse what colour or gender fire officers are but instead care very much whether or not they are well-trained, capable of doing the job and going to be arriving soon.