Jeremy Hunt ‘confident’ new NHS contracts will influence staff morale

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Hunt: “I’ve been listening” Junior Doctors: “The voices in your own head don’t count”

Jeremy Hunt says his decision to impose a new junior doctors’ contract was primarily intended to make a difference to NHS industrial relations.

“When I took over from Andrew Lansley, some people in the NHS, who should have known better, told me that staff morale couldn’t get any lower. But since then I’ve gone that extra mile – Monday to Friday, school term times only of course – and proved those doubters wrong.”

“I’ve built on my extensive business knowledge of PR and ‘consultancy'” bragged the public school educated millionaire “and really dug deep. So deep in fact that I’ve excavated lots of entirely new basement levels and I haven’t finished yet.”

Reluctant striker and Junior Doctor, Hannah agreed “We passed the sewers some while back and it’s still going downhill.”

“Staff morale can now only be reached using a Bathysphere and breathing equipment.” chuckled Hunt “When the new contract effect kicks in, it’s time to think about getting some more Bupa shares. Job done.”

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