Following a recall to fix unwanted fires, Metropolitan police have apologised for leaving Vauxhall Zafiras near protesters.
Vauxhall are recalling 22,000 of their cars to stop them bursting into flames, a fault that has already made anti-capitalist protesters in London appear more ‘bad-ass’.
“It’s completely unacceptable for the police to ‘petrol bomb’ us in this way”, said Anonymous supporter Brian Halls. “Although the recall also affects diesel models.”
Mr Halls was wearing a seasonal mask whilst complaining about his lot, when a police car he was standing next to decided to set fire to its interior.
“The next thing I knew, I was in the papers as some kind of cool freedom fighter”, said Halls. “Which is all very well, but I’m not going to get laid because we were all wearing the same mask.”
A Metropolitan police spokesman who didn’t wish to be Anonymous apologised for any confusion, and reassured the public that the majority of the protesters were in fact soft, trustafarian bell-ends.
“We’re also taking a number of traffic cones out of service”, said the spokesman. “They seem to have developed a fault that causes them to leap onto the head of statues.”