A prayer room in Harold has undergone a 350 metric tonne refit, to make it more suitable for pagans.
The 6-ft by 8-ft room now features a full-scale druidic stone circle, complete with a folding cairn, to accomodate Picts.
Nigel Thorvald welcomed the move, despite the eye-watering cost. “One shouldn’t put a price on appeasing Our Goddess”, he insisted.
Other workers have complained that the ‘impossibly cramped’ prayer room is now unsuitable for their interests. The sheer volume of beef waste has been a sticking point for some.
“That was a fatted cow we were honouring, a bit of sacrifice never hurt anyone”, claimed Thorvald. “We traditionally leave the entrails in the circle, because it’s too icky to move them.”
The megalithic structure has been given an A-rating for efficiency, and Thorvald claims it ‘literally pours energy’ into a local network of ley lines.
“And what’s more, on the Summer Solstice the light shines directly over the largest ‘king stone'”, said Thorvald. “If you switch it on, that is. Actually, it might do that on most days.”