Following on from the release of figures showing how many people have died since being declared fit for work and the news that the UN is to investigate his welfare reforms, Iain Duncan Smith is set to resign in a matter of days and be replaced by Ramsay Bolton.
“Ramsay will be a worthy successor,” Duncan Smith said. “We have much in common as military men who share a similar outlook. Of course he’s got where he is today thanks to his incredibly wealthy landowning father whereas I’m completely different as I’d be nothing without my incredibly wealthy landowning father-in-law.”
Bolton, widely regarded as a psychopath who gets off on torture and bloodshed, said that he is looking forward to working in government and is fully qualified to run the DWP because “My mother taught me not to throw stones at cripples… but my father taught me: aim for their head!”
“It may seem like the DWP is going from bad to very much worse,” said Hattie Edwards, spokesperson for the disabled rights campaign group Compassion Not Cuts, “but we’re feeling optimistic. After all Ramsay Bolton is known to have only killed a few people. Iain Duncan Smith has killed thousands.”