David Cameron has today said that continuing to throw money at Kids Company was “the right thing to do” because its founder went to a decent public school.
“Camila Batmanghelidjh is beyond reproach,” said the mesmerised PM. “She’s from the right background and knows all the correct people. Of course I and fellow old Etonian Oliver Letwin overruled civil servants to ensure her small London-centric charity got tens of millions in cash no questions asked. There’s no need for audit this and accountability that when you can look into a chap, or chapess’, eye, give them the old firm handshake and know that you’re both on exactly the same page.”
“This is why I can sleep at night knowing that the economy is being run by a man whose only job outside Westminster was two weeks folding towels in Selfridges, and that the welfare state is in the hands of an ex-Scots Guards officer with a CV as colourful and unlikely as one of my dear friend Camila’s outfits.”
The Prime Minister then returned to chillaxing while more thoughtful people went a bit clammy thinking about how the country is run before being distracted by yet another article on Bake Off.