“Imagine if he went into that cinema armed with just a baseball bat, he would have found it almost impossible to bash himself to death” reasoned NRA spokesman Wayne Einstein.
“If you think it through logically, you realise just how many lives guns actually save.”
Einstein points out that it’s an everyday occurrence that US mass shootings end with the shooter using their gun to shoot themselves.
“How many mass knife murders or mass karate kick murders can you name when the mass murder has stabbed or kicked themselves to death? I thought so, you can’t” said Einstein smugly.
Einstein says he does agree that more background checks are needed on gun purchasers.
“It’s absolutely essential to have these checks so we can identify would-be mass shooters. Then we can ensure they can freely purchase the high calibre weapon they need to finish themselves off after their killing spree.”
“It’s simple common sense really” said Einstein.