After putting on his serious face and calling the situation in Calais ‘unacceptable’ David Cameron has now raised fears that the government’s response is bobbins by going to the beach and burying his head in the sand.
“It’s nice and warm in here,” the Prime Minister said in a somewhat muffled statement. “And there’s no need for me to come out. My government has everything under control and our long-term strategy of closing our eyes and chanting ‘la la la’ is far and away the best permanent solution.”
“As long as we can get away with saying that this is a problem that Labour created and tutting at French strikers we will,” he said. “Labour created this problem and just because I’ve been PM for six years it’s jolly unfair of people to think that I and the two governments I’ve led should have some sort of coherent plan that can be put into action. Just like we don’t about anything else.”
He then asked for a parasol to cover his arse against the heat and settled down to chillax.