As the temperature rises and thoughts turn to holidays there is just one question on everyone’s lips: while posing for a chillaxed photo in Cornwall or Ibiza this year, will Dave point at a fish with his left hand or with his right?
“I can’t sleep, I’m so excited,” said Harold Mayor, Rufus D Jackson. “Left or right? Samantha looking bored as hell or Samantha looking disconcertingly submissive? I have to know.”
“It’s the clothes I’m wondering about,” villager Jane Hough told us. “Blue shirt and black trousers or slightly lighter blue shirt and black trousers? And what about Samantha? Black dress or black dress? It’s all so thrilling!”
Meanwhile jellyfish are beginning to gather off Cornwall and Ibiza’s most select beaches in the hope of once more giving the Prime Minister something to point at, and swear about.