“As a ‘worker’ in a grand office and a six-figure salary, I don’t see what the Labour party has to offer people like me any more”, said Len McCluskey.
“Of course, it’s the hard-working workers – the cheese miners, the onion tappers, the blue pop rig workers – that Labour traditionally appeals to. But they need to focus on the vital ‘angry shouting from my desk’ sector as well.”
Len McCluskey is determined that Labour will become more about Len McCluskey in the future, and will keep all the money he’s taken from the poorest workers to make his point. Len McCluskey insists he can help the party to find someone as unelectable as Ed Miliband.
“I’ve considered standing myself”, said Len McCluskey. “I’m very focused on the needs of Len McCluskey. But I’m not sure anyone would vote for him: Len McCluskey is a bit of a ranty, Trotskyite nut-job, if I’m honest.”