David Cameron is today full of praise for his close friend, Jeremy Clarkson, for distracting the media in the run up to the election.
“I’m indebted to the man we’ll all soon be calling Baron Clarkson of Chipping Norton for proving yet again that people don’t really give a toss about politics but if you criticise any element of their favourite distraction then the internet’s flooded with comments and petitions before you can say change.org.”
Smiling hugely the Prime Minister added. “Thank you, Jeremy, for making the news stupid again.”
“It was nothing,” Clarkson responded with unusual modestly. “Saw that me old mate Dave was getting hammered by the pink tie wearing socialist poofs in the media and stepped in. DC’s doing his best to run this great country and doesn’t need being called to account by the sort of vegetarians who cycle non-smoking lesbians to the office and would let a fox sleep with their good lady wives rather than shoot it.”
Top Gear is the BBC’s single most successful export and is viewed in over 100 countries. At the time of writing Jeremy Clarkson had less chance of getting sacked than Kim Jong-un.