“If he thinks it is OK for companies to frack on any area of wasteland regardless of people’s concerns, then he won’t mind us drilling the large expanse above his eyebrows” one of the protesters explained.
“As the tory peer Lord Howell said, it is fine to start drilling in ‘desolate’ areas with ‘plenty of room’. And after his loss to Ukip in the recent elections, he’ll be used to any earthquakes we cause in his cranium.”
The forehead, which has been free of any foliage for many years, was seen as a great place for the protesters to make their concerns known about the total disregard for the public’s views and any possible environmental factors.
Armed police have now been called but due to the height of the forehead, they have had to be backed up by a police helicopter.
The protesters say they have begun drilling despite being asked not to.
“So far we have drilled to quite a depth. On the way down we have come across some oil, gas, plenty of hot air, some mental images of a naked Maggie Thatcher and a soft spot we believe is for Boris Johnson. However, no matter how deep we go, we don’t expect to find a conscience.”