Following the relative success of Ukip in the English council election, and their expected results in the European ballot, many right-minded people are now having to backtrack from their pre-election smears.
With casual racism being proven an accepted political position, and the fact you are statistically never more than 15 feet from a Ukip voter, people across the country are now saying “how can I hate racists, some of my best friends are racists”.
Harold’s MP Spencer Chadwick told us: “I know hating racists and racist culture used to be acceptable, but I also accept that times have changed and we must move on. I have to represent everyone in the village, even the ones that are – am I allowed to use the ‘B’ word? – b*gots.
“That said, and you can call me old fashioned if you like, I would still not like to have a family of racists living next door.”
Despite the local MP reluctantly accepting this ‘new face’ of Britain, many people are still not comfortable with the influx of people from the ‘far-right’.
Speaking from St Mary’s CofE Primary School, Headteacher Alison Lee explained the difficulties the school was having trying to integrate children from Ukip voting families.
“We like to try and have tolerant English as the children’s first language, but we are now seeing so many kids from bigoted families we are having to have special lessons taught in a ‘casually racist’ version of English just so they can understand.
“We are all for diversity and tolerance but it is political correctness gone mad when you have to change a well known nursery rhyme to ‘Baa Baa Foreigner Sheep’ just so the racists aren’t offended.”
The fight to beat the current trend has started with the Harold Independence Party announcing they will be taking on Ukip head-on locally and putting forward their own candidate for the general election in 2015.
“The people of Harold quite rightly want to be separate from the rule of those in Westminster,” the party leader Lionel Garage said. “It is important that we keep fighting against the growing trend of the ‘fascist elite’.”