With just four months until the referendum Scotland has been warned of a new consequence of independence: Tony Blair.
“The Yes campaigners are constantly bigging up famous and influential Scots,” said Better Together spokesperson Lydia Tanner. “Well, if Scotland becomes independent it will be responsible for arguably the most influential Scot of them all and must embrace Tony Blair as one of its own.”
Born and educated in Edinburgh, Tony Blair is as Scottish as starting a fight with your own reflection when drunk. Though famous for his actions on other shores such as Iraq, Afghanistan and that restaurant in Islington where he stitched up Gordon Brown good and proper, Blair will become Scotland’s responsibility on September 19th if enough people tick the Yes box in the referendum.
Downing Street has this morning confirmed that if it came to it they would be willing to negotiate with a newly independent Scotland over Blair. The potential offer is believed to be that England will promise to keep him as long as they can keep Andy Murray too.