Fashion giant Louis Vuitton is targeting fat cats, with a new range of impossibly posh potato-based snack bags.
The firm will offer exclusive flavours for the more discerning palate, including lamb n’ minted, cheese et privilege and ‘plain’ pomme de tiara.
With product placement key to success, celebrities from LA to St. Tropez have been spotted dipping into the designer delicacies, before wiping their fingers on a servant.
“We have centuries of experience in putting mundane things inside over-elaborate bags”, said marketing executive Hugo Piers. “Whether it’s bits of potato or a mound of soiled underwear, anything can be improved with ruinously expensive packaging.”
As with their suitcases and colostomy bags, counterfeits have already been spotted on east-end markets. Piers has warned consumers to be careful when they’re investing in something to satisfy their hunger for exclusivity.
“The genuine crisps are hand-finished in France, and the workmanship is obvious to the discerning”, he explained. “Whereas some of the knock-offs just contain bits of dead skin and toenails. And they’re clutched by chavs drinking Bacardi in Wetherspoons, rather than on a yacht or at a movie premiere.”
Piers explained that women will feel confident with the new bags, which are guaranteed to dramatically reduce incidences of sharing. As he reveals, “by mimicking the style of our handbags, men just don’t feel comfortable dipping their hands in.”