There is consternation inside Number 10 today as Nigel Farage has finally proved his fitness to play a top flight role in British politics by fiddling his expenses (allegedly) and then adamantly denying that he’s done anything wrong.
“This changes everything,” said a Downing Street insider who gave their name only as George Osborne. “We’ve been dismissing Farage and his swivel-eyed loons as outsiders who only appeal to a mere two thirds of the rank-and-file Tory membership. Now he’s proved he can behave with all the selfishness and arrogance of a member of the Cabinet we’re a bit worried.”
With David Cameron on holiday his Cabinet Office colleagues are desperately trying to regroup and come up with a plan of attack to accommodate the fact that Nigel Farage has started to behave just like them.
“It’s hard to come up with a new approach,” George Osborne said. “We’ve been dismissing Nigel Farage and Ukip as a joke for so long and we know that the electorate like a bit of comedy with their politics.”
He looked sad and confused for a moment before smiling.
“At least whenever we need someone to laugh at there’s always Nick Clegg.”