When blushing bride, Chantel Meth-Davies, arrived at a tranquil country church for her wedding with David Brooke, she had no idea that less than an hour later she would be married, according to an extraordinary law suit launched today.
“No one said I would be married by the end of the service,” said Ms Meth-Davies, 25, who refuses to use her married name. “I just wanted a nice wedding with flowers, my friends and a party to celebrate my relationship with Dave, not marriage.”
“When we visited the vicar to book the church, she never once mentioned that I would end up married,” Chantel complained. “She ran on and on about Holy Matrimony and all that when we first visited her, but I just assumed that the usual load of religious mumbo jumbo that they go in for.”
Finding herself at the centre of a wedding misspelling scandal was the last thing that Harold’s vicar, Rev. Tansy Forster had in mind when she booked the couple in for a routine wedding. “Sadly, it seems that the bride has a strong case against me as I didn’t explain that becoming married was the inevitable consequence of the wedding,” said the Vicar of St. Paul’s. “Unfortunately, my solicitors will not allow me to say what a stupid ignoramus this girl is and my faith won’t allow me to instruct the curate to visit their home and piss through the letter box.”
Meanwhile Ms Meth-Davies, who plans to spend any settlement award on a divorce, remains unrepentant. “People keep telling me that having a wedding is the same as being married, but I don’t agree. If that is the case, tell me why Frank and Jason, the gay couple next door, still want to get married after having their wedding last year”
“What could have been a nice day for me and Dave turned into a nightmare. What is this country coming to when you can’t have a simple wedding without ending up married?”
- Congratulations to Chantel Meth-Davies (or is it Chantel Brooke?) for becoming the first reader to contribute to the Evening Harold’s “Have your name spoofed in an article for a small fee” promotion.