Surrounded by security 24 hours a day, having someone else decide what you will eat, not voting in elections, being transported in armoured vehicles often with a police escort, having sex with unsightly people, menial work to pass the time and earn your weekly wage and all the tax payers’ expense have all been good practice for the future monarch.
Today’s Weather: Hazy
Harold Tweets…My Tweets
- January: still no end in sight.
- Harold EXCLUSIVE: The Royal Summit, full transcript.
- Harold couple to step back from being 60 millionth in line to the throne
- Prue Leith threatens vengeance after Trump mistakenly assassinates Paul Hollywood
- UK terrorism threat downgraded to ‘Fucking hell, run for it’.
- Global schadenfreude shortage looms after huge surge in demand in UK
- Nation prepares to celebrate the end of PPI calls
- Seasick Greta Thunberg’s puke ‘causing irreversible damage to our oceans’
What they’re saying about the Evening Harold!
"Way better than the Guardian" - Jeremy Corbyn
"Ha - this piece of wit contains a lot of truth" - Brian May.
THE REAL BRIAN MAY!!!
"I just love this paper.... site... web thingy. Makes my day, every day" - Phil Burfoot
Most popular stories
Enjoy some older Haroldy goodness