The announcement last night that deposed Egyptian President, Mohamed Morsi, is to appear on Piers Morgan’s life stories was heralded as a major coup for ITV.
Seen as the biggest TV event since Piers snatched Susan Boyle from under the noses of Virgin Media, the programme promises to showcase Morgan’s true journalistic brilliance as he holds no punches by asking the questions to which the world wants answers.
Although recorded in great secrecy, insiders have breathlessly revealed that Morgan soon had Morsi on the ropes with a sequence of rapier questions which the former president struggled to answer such as:
“Why did the Brotherhood of Man split up?”
“Did you ever meet the Nolan Sisters?”
“Which of the ABBA girls did you fantasise about the most?” adding “Oh. I see you are sporting a stylish beard there. Perhaps you preferred Benny?”
Muslim Brotherhood of Man
After an increasingly confused Morsi repeated that his party, The Muslim Brotherhood, had a popular mandate from the electorate of Egypt, Morgan paused and said to the studio audience: “This isn’t in my research notes, but I believe we have an exclusive.”
Morgan then followed up with the killer question: “So when, exactly, did the Brotherhood of Man form a band with Cat Stevens? Can we expect an album release?”
Meanwhile on his Facebook page, Morsi has dismissed his current political problems as contractual and musical differences with brass band diehards. He added that he hopes to be available soon to “face the music” and go on a summer tour of British holiday camps with fellow Eurovision winners Bucks Fizz and Katrina & the Waves.