Man dies after eating an Apple a day

To get 2 of his 5-a-day, the  iPhones were on Orange

To get 2 of his 5-a-day, the iPhones were on Orange

A 19 year old man died yesterday, after being advised to eat an apple a day by Doctor Evans. Wayne Chavley was rushed to hospital after consuming 2 iPhones, 3 iPads and a Macbook air over the course of 6 days.

It is believed he initially visited his GP for a check up. As he was found to be a little on the morbidly obese side, Doctor Evans recommended he try eating fruit as a snack instead of a family size bar of Galaxy. As Mr Chavley walked out of the doctor’s room, an eyewitness tells us she heard the doctor say ” an apple a day keeps the doctor away”. “I couldn’t believe my ears” Mrs Sandy told us. “It was obvious that the man leaving the room had no idea what fruit was”.

Mr Chavley’s girlfriend made an emotional statement outside the family bedsit. ” We just wanted Wayne to lose a couple of stone. 20 stone was his target. When the doctor recommended an apple a day, we thought he meant iPhones and that. We robbed 4 different people of their stuff and nearly got arrested in Comet as we couldn’t afford all those things, but it was all to help Wayne.”

“Had we known there was a food called apple, Wayne would still be with us now. It does explain the hungry caterpillar pictures though. We are taking legal advice from Andrew Castle on a no win no fee basis to sue the doctor for his advice. Our dream was that he could one day he could walk for more than 3 minutes without collapsing and we could go to Lidl together, but our dreams have been taken away from us.”

The surgery have refused to comment on the case, but have said that this kind of misunderstanding is quite common among the younger generation. They cited a case of a man they asked for a wee sample, who brought in the ‘on’ button from his Nintendo.

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