Dry cappuccino or cup of foam?

Food & Drink with Miles Anour 

Can I get an dry extra arid foamy cappuccino?

Can I get an dry extra arid foamy cappuccino?

Like many other people, my day always starts with a cup of coffee. Admittedly I start my day several hours later than most people, but that’s due to the heavy research that a professional writer, like what I am, has to undertake.

So there I am, standing in the queue trying to reconstruct the hazy segments of the previous evening when I hear the following grating order  from a customer.

Could I get a grande dry cappuccino?”

I have BIG ISSUES with this seemingly simple request. First, what goes the customer mean by the phrase ‘could I get’. Does he wish to serve himself?  Make the barista redundant, perhaps? Surely he either means ‘Could I have?’ or ‘Could you get?’

People often say to me “Miles, it’s an Americanism” as if to excuse the startling abuse of the English language. American?  Well, so are Michael Douglas, tornadoes and mass shootings, so that doesn’t wash with me. Get it right please.

Secondly, what on earth is a ‘dry’ cappuccino? Compared with a latte, a cappuccino seems pretty dry already, so is the term is intended to mean ‘entirely devoid of liquid’? There must be more foam in a dry cappuccino than there is in the average living room sofa. And why would anyone order a grande? Surely, two times nothing is nothing; except of course when it comes to paying for the large cup of froth. Costa fortune!

Tasting Notes: Coffee Outlets

Starbucks: Aside from the tax thing, I don’t like giving my name just to stop the dopes accidentally giving my skinny latte to some spotty infantile teenager who ordered a milk shake. When asked, I often give my name as “Ethel”. They don’t even blink!

Caffe Nero: Good coffee, terrible tea. Tip: Never buy a coffee made by a barista wearing a burgundy tea shirt. It says “trainee” for a good reason.

McDonalds:  Dark and earthy. In fact, so earthy that this tasted like soil. Try with 2 sugars. And alcohol.

Read more –  Miles on White Wine:  http://eveningharold.com/2013/05/19/whats-wrong-with-white-wine/

 

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