A local economist ‘endangered the lives of journalists’, by infiltrating their group and penetrating the very heart of the BBC. That’s the claim from a union rep who handles the camera crews, sound recordists and script readers, who do the bidding of the shadowy regime.
Professor of economics Julia Hogsburn has often wondered about the inner workings of the BBC, and how so many inside the system believe what they’re told without question.
But living in Harold meant Hogsburn was unlikely to come into contact with anyone from the state broadcaster, because she lives over 40 miles outside the M25.
“The BBC normally keeps itself to its London self, although they will report local news from Cornwall if they’re down there at the weekend”, explained Hogsburn. “I knew I had to somehow get past the hired goons from G4S, and see if there was something wrong with their calculators, or basic ability to do maths.”
Hogsburn tagged along with a scouting party of journalists, who came to Harold by chance when their official train broke down outside Dunstable. “When I arrived at their heart, I couldn’t believe the deserted wasteland all around me”, revealed the professor. “It was then that I knew I’d accidentally followed them to Salford.”
Brainswashed, artificially earnest and starving from enforced macrobiotic diets, Hogsburn was appalled at the suffering she witnessed inside the dynasty’s newest ivory tower.
“You’d think the ‘donations’ of £145.50 a year from every household in Britain would be directed to people who need it the most”, sighed Hogsburn. “But somehow, their budget of £7.5 billion all gets spent on flashy Graham Nortons and Clarksons. It’s all a fake veneer that hides the suffering beneath.”
Hogsburn spoke to a number of economics reporters during her trip, but none dared repeat anything other than the regime’s official Keynesian line.
“I knew just mentioning that some cuts might be warranted would see me hauled to one side, and forever banished from returning to the BBC again”, revealed Hogsburn.
“But I didn’t expect to get picked on by their ‘Great Leader’ himself. Short, fat, boiler-suited and with appallingly bad hair, he was surrounded by sycophants. It’s clear they’re all in fear of Eddie Mair.”