Death of The Ironing Lady at the age of 87

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Teresa Macster, known locally as the Ironing Lady, has died at the age of 87.

With her trademark handbag and ironing board, Teresa was one of the great characters of the village combining her bustling ironing business with the arduous role of Mayoress of Harold, the first woman to be elected in this position.

In her heyday, Teresa was a formidable leader, applying the same criteria to council officials as she did to laundry by separating them into “Wets” or “Drys”.

Despite several attempts on her life by people who thought she should advertise her business in lower case – she never had an easy time with anti-capitalists – the Ironing Lady lived to be a ripe old age, adored by her few remaining supporters and hated by virtually everyone else.

It is understood that the vicar Tansy Forster is struggling to comply with her dying wish, which was to be buried next to the coal man. “The sticking point there is that he isn’t dead yet,” she said, “but we think Teresa was well aware of that, having only added the demand to her will 4 minutes before she died.”

She is survived by her children Mark and Carol, and her clones Tony and David.

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